Stress

     Stress is a very complex thing. Currently, I have financial stress, job stress, and home stress. I am one big ball of stress. Which is incredibly tough for me since normally I am a very chill person. But right now I am struggling. I have financial stress because of a debt from the dim past that jumped up and bit, buying a new furnace, and a variety of other things. I am bad at having debt and while I realize digging out of that is not going to be instantaneous, it is causing me a lot of stress because it is not a place I am used to being. And I don't want to get comfortable with the debt, I want it to go away. I am trying to be patient. 

     I have job stress because many things are new at school this year. Some of them are quite positive but a lot of them are quite the opposite. I am struggling with the day-to-day because I see issues that should not exist, I have said things about them to a lot of people (who could help change the things) and nothing currently seems to be getting done about them. I can't be content to watch the system fail the kids the way the system failed Travis. I am trying to be the change I want to see in the world but I am afraid I am currently fighting a losing battle. Paras are rarely even treated like adults, let alone adults worth listening to. I have basically no power in the grand scheme of education. This is intentionally vague because it has to be. 

    I have home stress because my trailer park is being sold. And the man who has in an offer is not someone that we want to own our park. So I am on the board (which I don't have time for) to try to help get us together into a co-op to buy it ourselves. But the buyer put in an offer that skirts the edge of even being legal under the Right of First Refusal law. And everything with that is a struggle. I am tired, overly busy, and I would really just like a break. 

    I was dropping Travis off at Elecktra's place a week or so ago and I saw she had a pile of Squishmallows. This pink unicorn was on the top of the pile. So I picked it up and squished it. I haven't actually touched a Squishmallow before and had no idea just how huggable they are. Elecktra insisted I take this one, she said she went a little nuts and had too many, and I hugged and squished it all the way to the car. Then it rode to school with me and was there to greet me when I got in the car to go home. Currently, it lives on my desk chair and makes a lovely, super comfy, back cushion when I am typing. 

     My friend Brandi is brilliant. In so many ways really, but in this case I am speaking of language learning. She has been learning German and said she bought a book she knows very well in English to help her with her German. I have been doing a variety of learning with my Spanish, including listening to podcasts meant for new Spanish learners, watching TV in Spanish with the subtitles on (the CC descriptions are distracting and I can't figure out how to turn them off), and listening to music in Spanish. I also have books and use Duolingo daily. But I decided I needed to try reading a book (not a learn-Spanish book) in Spanish. On our weekly coffee dates to Barnes and Noble I spent a lot of time in the Spanish language section trying to figure out a book that I knew well enough in English to read it in Spanish. I found several I have read, but I don't know them well enough to be useful (the closest was Animal Farm, but I haven't even read it in years at this point). So I settled on Green Eggs and Ham. I can recite that book in English so I figured I could probably learn some Spanish with it. Though from the very first page I know it is definitely not a word-for-word translation. Oh well, I can learn something anyway. 

     Part of my financial stress is doll making. I have a whole lot of dolls for sale and none of them seem to be selling at the moment. I have posted them on Model Horse Connections and on the doll maker group on Facebook, so I at least have remembered to list them. But other than once in a while, things have been quite slow for me with doll sales. If anyone is in need of a doll, I have a wide variety available at the moment on MHC  https://modelhorseconnection.com/searchlist.asp?AccID=9160 at this point I am probably even open to commissions. Not every project will be something I am willing to take on, but if you need something, and I don't have what you are looking for, please send me an email at fieldofdolls@gmail.com and we'll see if it's something I can do for you. 

     Something that is not stressful for me is Friday starting at 2:30 when I get out of work. Friday is the best day of the week. When I get out I go and pick Travis up from Sunshine Village and we go to Barnes and Noble for our weekly coffee date. We get our coffee at the Starbucks in there and he picks out a new book. Sometimes I get a new book as well, though I still have a lot of books to read so I have been trying to be good. After our coffee date we come home and have supper and then go out dancing. It is a long day but so much fun. Even when I am in the worst mood (like when a skunk sprays my house and everything I own stinks) dancing will bring me out of it. Too bad every day wasn't Friday, I'd probably have a lot less stress. 

Not Enough Time

     I am back to having almost no time in my life for... anything. I am back to struggling to find a balance with things. School started last week and my very first day I had restraint training. Then, the next day was the first day of school with kids. We have two new students this year and they are challenging. Partially because we don't really know them and partially because middle school is just not elementary school. Plus our kids from last year seem to have forgotten a lot of the rules and expectations. So we are working on getting back into the swing of things. I also have to get up at dark o'clock again, so I am kind of tired a lot of the time. But I am working on it. 

     To add to the difficulty of starting a new school year, last Thursday a skunk sprayed outside my bedroom window. My open bedroom window. Which results in me basically being gassed out of my room and forced to sleep on the couch. I could still smell skunk but it wasn't quite as strong out there. Still strong though. Somehow my bag, which was not in my bedroom also smelled like skunk, but faintly, so it kind of smelled like pot. So I went to school last Friday exhausted and smelly. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and I was ready for it to be over from the first minute. When I got home my house still smelled bad and I was so frustrated that I just left. I went and picked Travis up and we went on our coffee date. At least that was nice. After that we went to Walmart to get more small fans (to stick facing out in the windows) and things to try to get the stink out of the rooms. It was expensive and frustrating. I decided I needed this unicorn clock for my studio, because I have been thinking I needed a clock in the studio. It was a good idea. 

    I am not positive, but I think the only doll I finished last week was this cowboy doll. He's done on a modified Yvonne doll and he makes a pretty nice cowboy. With the added bonus of fitting in the same tack as an Yvonne type doll. He's sold but I am willing to make more of these guys if people are interested. 

    Right before school started I got together with a friend I haven't seen in years and she gifted me this mug she got for me a couple of years ago, and kept forgetting to give me. All the flamingos have on different costumes and I absolutely love it! And I love the shape. I am very into this particular shape of tea cup. 

     The Spirit Halloween stores are open and I Elecktra and I were spending a day together and went to a couple of them. I felt I needed to put this sign above my bar. It amused me. And there was a space on that wall that kind of needed something. But after that I realized I kind of also needed another plant. 

    When hanging out with another friend before school started I decided it was time to get another new plant. So we went out to my favorite plant store, the Painted Stone Emporium (they also have stones and crystals) and I got this one, to add to the other two plants hanging in the kitchen. It's now balanced and makes me very happy. And I have 16 plants. My pink angel plant that nearly died while I was at Breyerfest is being rehabbed and it's actually going pretty well. And I am super impressed that I am managing to rehab a plant. 

         So back to last Friday. I was angry, smelled like skunk, and was so frustrated with everything that I thought about not going to dance. But I had several friends texting asking if I was going and I talked myself into it. I skipped the lessons, and just went for the social dance, but I am glad that I did. It was a really amazing night of dance and I was in a much better mood when I left there. Even though I went home to a house that smelled like skunk, though not as strongly. And even now, a week later, I can still smell it faintly if the house has been closed up all day. But it's close to gone and my stuff doesn't smell anymore. So that is encouraging. 

       Since school has started I am tired and have a lot less free time. But so far I am enjoying myself. School is starting to even out a little bit, the beginning of the year is always a bit weird. Hopefully soon I can get back into getting up early so I am less tired and can potentially get more doll work done. But for now I will just keep on doing what I can, when I can manage it. Fun things are coming!