It’s Started

      At the tail end of the school year I was not really sure I wanted to do another live sale. But at the tail end of the school year I really didn't want to do anything at all. I didn't want to be a teacher anymore, I didn't want to make dolls anymore, everything was just kind of bad. I do love teaching, and often really like making dolls, but I really needed a break. A mental break, an actual break, all the breaks. 

     We got out June 15th, which was a Wednesday. I did nothing after school (that's a lie, I went and had a couple of drinks with friends from school before I came). I didn't do any work on Thursday, Friday, or all that weekend either. And it was nice. I may have gotten back into a small bit of doll work the next Monday, but I can't remember at this exact moment if that was how it went. I do know that after my break, which was not an insanely long break, but it was definitely a nice break, that I got back into things and was actually motivated and enjoying myself. It was cool.

     Now I am into sales prep. It had to happen sooner or later. I decided that since I have only dressed one Lena doll (the Native American lady from KC's Galloping Gals) that I would take out several of her and make a variety of western dolls. This week I have made a good amount of progress on them, though I still have a ways to go before they are all done. 

      Today was extra awesome. Today was the first day of the summer program where there were any kids. So I met the new-to-me student that I will be working with. I got to learn SO MUCH new stuff! The first hour of today was kind of overwhelming. But I just let the stuff sink in. I figured as long as I was actually paying attention, which I was, my brain would know what it was doing when I get the reminders tomorrow. And by next week maybe it will be easy. I am not in the same program I was in last year, which was a bummer... but now is not. I did adore those kids, but the new ones are pretty awesome too. And I was so happy today. I know it was only 3 hours and I am still in the getting to know you phase of things, but it really was an excellent day. I am in a good mood just thinking about it. I was fully prepared for today to be a hot mess. And I'm not gonna lie, it was not perfect. But it was pretty great for a first day. I came home, had lunch and a short nap, and I got out the dolls and got to work. I know that sooner or later I will need another big break, but for right now I am pretty energized and I want to get things done. I also found out that the teacher I am working with this year used to be into Breyer horses (she brought that up when I told her I make rider dolls). I don't know if she is still into them at all, but I am going to find out by the end of the month (which is the end of the program). 

      My June micro, Rhino, came from Maggie the other day. I have been trying to sell a lot of my micros because I just am not going to have time to paint them all, can't really spend all the money to get someone else to paint them all, and I keep vaguely thinking about canceling my membership. But I love Cisco, who I believe came in May. And now I really love Rhino. I have a couple of others that I am keeping, but also several that I am trying to rehome. I know it is a bad time of year to try to sell anything hobby related though, so maybe I will wait for the Fall. It's not like they are taking up a ton of space or anything.

      So now I am in the position of wondering what to do for work again. There is an opening in intensive autism for next year. But the program is staying at the middle school for at least one more year. So I get to figure out if I want to apply for that position or stay at the high school where I have absolutely no idea what I will be doing next year, but I know the school, a lot of the students, the school routines, and so on. I could be anywhere, doing any subject. Or I could be with slightly younger kids, at a different school, and working on helping kids with really high needs be as independent as possible. And potentially always happy. But that would also leave the high school without a building rep for the paras since that is also my job. Decisions are hard. Change is hard. And knowing what would be the best choice for me is super hard!