I don't remember every detail about the article but I do remember it was about failing, and not crumbling after failing. We (societal we) have been shielding kids from failure that so many of them are afraid to try anything. This morning I looked at the subject line and decided it was time to write this post. And the photo of this doll fits in with this post perfectly.
March is the month for the Little Rider Doll Making Challenge on Facebook. I didn't participate for years because it seemed rude. If I am focused, and have time, I can make a doll in a day. Last year I joined the special saddle pad challenge, and this year I joined the special ranch saddle pad challenge. Even after 19 years of making dolls I still face challenges. I still face failure. Last year for the challenge I had a pad with colors I would never have chosen for myself. Orange and purple together, or really even just orange at all, is not something I would choose. But that is what I had and the first doll I made was a failure. The doll was nice, but it didn't really go with my saddle pad. Several people said it was great and a nice match but the tones of the colors were different enough that I found it jarring. So I started over. Because I HAVE failed in the past, many times, and I know it is not the end of things. My second doll was a much better match and I liked everything about it. Even though it still had orange.
This year we were 6 days into March before I remembered it was the challenge month. At that point I figured it would be a good idea to look for materials. Since I have a ridiculous amount of doll making stuff here I very rarely need to go out into the wider world to find anything for what I want to make. This time was no exception. The sage green I have isn't a perfect match to the saddle pad, and neither is the sand color of the chaps, but being a ranch saddle pad I care a bit less about that, and it is not a jarring amount. So I made the chaps and cut out the basic outfit and got into the doll.
And then I ripped a shoulder seem.
Even after 19 years of making dolls mistakes happen. It is entirely possible to make something from a pattern, hundreds of times, and all of a sudden one time it doesn't fit. One bit is just a bit too tight. And sometimes seems rip out and it is far easier to just start over instead of trying to repair. But I know this because I have made thousands of dolls. I have lost pieces I was working with (I actually did that again 2 days ago. I still can't find it) I have stained things, messed up painting, messed up rehairing, ripped seems, made things a bit too small, or one side tighter than the other (I did that one yesterday). Any of these things might be enough to completely derail a new person. Someone just starting out in a type of art will get to the ugly stage and they can't yet tell if they have failed completely or just need to push through. Dolls are in the ugly stage almost until they are complete. So when I ripped the sleeve out of the shirt of my challenge doll I posted about it in the LRDMC group.
So what does this have to do with failure immunity? Everything. The first step to succeeding in anything is to try. Some people are so crippled by the idea of failing that they are unwilling to try. When I was little, I was encouraged to try things. I was sewing when I was 5 (by hand. I was not allowed to use Mom's sewing machine until I was 7), I was also knitting then, not that I am an accomplished knitter. I was baking at that young age as well. Did everything come out perfectly? Absolutely not. But I was encouraged to try and if the thing I was trying failed I was told that it was a good try and to try again. I wasn't bailed out of it. I wasn't cushioned and protected from failing. I was guided to keep on trying.
I think the challenge months are a great place for new artists. I am unlikely to pick up a horse to paint other than in February during NaMoPaiMo (and not even then recently). Many people are unlikely to make a doll other than during March for the LRDMC. I likely would never have learned to dance if it wasn't for being surrounded by supportive people in classes, and having excellent teachers who asked over and over if anyone had any questions, if we got it, if we needed to try it again. I am also still learning Spanish (painfully slowly) because I have amazing friends (and my amazing Mom who I practice with daily!) who get excited when I say anything to them in Spanish. Even if it's not completely correct, they are so happy I am trying.
So there you go, after nearly 2 months without a post you get this bit of rambling musing about failure immunity. My last post was about the roof leaking into my studio. My studio is still a giant mess, still needs to be redone (along with my bathroom ceiling, which was already scheduled to be redone) but I still go into the studio and get work done. Slowly. I am very burnt out and it is a struggle to make dolls. It's a struggle to write a blog post. Sometimes it's a struggle to complete a sentence. But I hope for anyone who hasn't been encouraged to try something that is scary that maybe this will be a tiny push to try. You don't know what you are capable of until you try. And it's entirely likely the first time you try a thing you won't be amazing at it, or you might struggle quite a lot. But keep in mind, you have only really failed if you stop trying.
