Body hair. Either for having too much, or for removing too much.
Not smiling enough.
Having periods, and anything that goes along with it.
Having larger thighs or butt. I had grown men making sexual comments to me since I was 11.
Being too muscular, or too thin, or too fat.
For not having children. Or for having children.
For having stretch marks.
For being too tall.
For not being in a relationship.
For having large breasts. Or for having small breasts.
For being too shy. Or for being too outgoing.
Wearing clothing that is too revealing. Wearing clothing that is too covering.
Caring too much about fashion. Not caring enough about fashion.
Wearing too much makeup. Not wearing enough makeup.
Dieting. Not dieting.
Not dying gray hair.
Having tattoos.
These are actual things that women have been shamed for. Often. And there are a lot of other things. It really is a strange thing to me. I have seen entire groups (many) whose sole purpose is to talk about how women with tattoos are whores. Really? What started this rabbit hole was a makeup primer ad on Facebook. The comments went from "does this actually work", "does it work on undereye wrinkles" to, "I like women to be natural". The comments also included many women saying that they had great skin because they had never worn makeup, with other women then replying that makeup doesn't ruin your skin (it really does not, and a lot of makeup these days can help protect your skin). I wondered why people who don't wear makeup were commenting at all. Anyway, I have dealt with the comments on having large breasts, or a big butt, tattoos, colored hair, not coloring my gray hair, being too heavy, having kids (especially since I had them young), and my least favorite, for having a kid with special needs. There really are people who will sort of "blame" the mother if a kid is different. Clearly, we must have done something wrong. Not disciplined enough. These things are said and thought, and are completely ridiculous.
So my hope for 2022, and every year, is that we can all learn to be a little nicer to each other. Stop judging each other on things beyond our control or our personal choices that have absolutely no consequence on anyone else. And let's please give Anne some ideas of what she can write about or we may get some more wonky posts like this one, lol! I am also open to guest posts!
6 comments:
We have six kids, and people always used to ask me, "Are they all YOURS??" Or, "Do you know about birth control?" I've even been asked in front of all my kids, if I "planned to have so many children." None of your nosy beeswax, but for the record, YES I DID. And they ARE all mine and I DO know about birth control. Craig and I wanted each and every one of them and count them our biggest blessing.
It is mind boggling the things strangers say to someone they don't know.
Some of these things are regularly said by friends, or at the very least acquaintances. People can be very thoughtless.
Some things are humanly relevant, and I’ll never resent a good post like this one. Thank you <3
Ha ha, Lynn…on the flip side? I never wanted kids and I occasionally get pitying comments from strangers about how sad it is that I never had babies! Like go have your own dude, I’m out here having a great time and I’d have been miserable with kids. It’s not for everyone AND THATS OKAY! It’s like you can’t do anything well enough.
Thank you, Anne, this is a great post.
Ha!I'm with Dr.Steggy on this on!
I*knew*from a real young age that I didn't want to be married nor have children! I was the oldest in my family and I was responsible for my younger siblings while my dad had to work!
It was ok--my sisters were prettier than me -I was known as the "nerd" in the family because of my love of reading and animals.
Even though I'm older now, I usually hang out with my female friends(many I know--like Lynn I. for over 30 years!)It's getting to be a *shame* now that 2 friends can't seem to go anywhere together without someone assuming something about your sexual identity(incorrectly at that) I *love* men--and my female friends are MARRIED!! Or if they see you by yourself they address you as if you are married and just assume that you have children/grandchildren! Can't tell you how often I had to straighten out those assumptions!
Ha! I got one for you--I was told by some people once that I was being "selfish" because I chose not to have children--that it was a woman's responsibility to do so---and to this day, I know some men that I respect that still believe that a women's place is basically in the kitchen! Bwahahaha!
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